10. PLEASE SAY THE LIQUOR FIRST (IT IS A RUM AND COKE NOT COKE AND RUM AND IT IS NOT REDBULL VODKA!!!)

9. IF YOU ARE LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE A SEAT AT THE BAR DO NOT ORDER FOR EVERY FUCKER BEHIND YOU

8. WHEN IT’S YOUR TURN TO ORDER PLEASE HAVE YOUR ORDER READY- NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO START LOOKING FOR YOUR BUDDY

7. ORDER ALL AT ONCE -DON’T WAIT FOR THE BARTENDER TO FINISH YOUR ORDER THEN SAY -OH YEAH ONE MORE RED SNAPPER

6. LEARN YOUR BARTENDERS NAME- MY NAME IS NOT BARKEEP-BARTENDER-COACH-BOSS-HEY-MISTRO- I WILL KILL YOU

5.DO NOT ORDER A JACK AND SPRITE AND A JACK AND SEVEN- SEVEN AND SPRITE ARE THE SAME SHIT -WE DO NOT HAVE BOTH

4.IF YOUR CARD DECLINES DO NOT MAKE ME RUN IT THREE TIMES- YOU BROKE ASS- I KNOW YOU JUST PUT A THOUSAND IN THE BANK TODAY- I’M NOT YOUR BANK- PAY ME!

3.DRINK NOT STRONG ENOUGH? WANT ME TO MAKE IT STRONGER? IT’S CALLED A DOUBLE – ORDER IT THAT WAY

2.LONG ISLAND ICE TEA-UMM…  KAMIKAZE- MMMMM YUMMY…. IS THIS YOUR FIRST TIME IN A BAR JACKASS -THIS IS A SURE WAY TO GET YOUR ASS CARDED OR YOUR MAN CARD TAKEN AWAY

1. TIP– 20 PERCENT STANDARD -MORE ON DRINK SPECIAL NIGHTS OR IF YOU GET A HOOKUP -THANK YOU DOES NOT PAY MY LIGHT BILL -NEITHER DOES 2.13 AN HOUR THAT IS WHAT MOST BARTENDERS AND COCKTAILS MAKE…

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